Stephen Covey’s habits also include the inter-personal skills of which in my opinion Think Win-Win is key to being successful in today’s world.
Interacting with others in all spheres of life is an ongoing process – be it at work, at home, with friends etc. and doing so successfully is vital to succeeding and being happy with life. Remember Think Win-Win isn’t just about being nice with others; it is in fact a code of conduct for our interaction and collaboration with others.
Generally, we think about succeeding in terms of the other person failing ie if I win, you loose, or, if you win, I loose. But WIN-WIN sees life as an arena of cooperation and not competition. It is a frame of mind and heart that seeks mutual benefit in all our human interactions and also means that all our agreements and solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying to both parties. Both the parties get to eat the cake and it should taste good and also be satisfying as both get an equal share.
It’s my conviction that WIN-WIN thinking is the foundation of personal happiness. Instead of finding solutions, we engage into ego battles and try to push others down – so that we can get a sense of somehow being “better than others”. This way of thinking can also be the source of many health issues like stress, depression and anxiety. A change of attitude removes all these problems and leads to natural healing.
From childhood we have all been educated to think in violent or win-lose concepts, such as “good” and “bad”, “right” or “wrong”, “smart” or “dumb”. This thinking and these words are constantly tricking us into trying to classify people and establish some kind of a hierarchy.
Move away from that thinking – consider what Covey has to say:
“Think Win-Win isn’t about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.
A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:
1. Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments
2. Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others
3. Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone
Many people think in terms of either/or: either you’re nice or you’re tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that–to achieve that balance between courage and consideration–is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.”
Hmm. I leave with you a lot to think about